Scale was back down at 171.2 today, so the bloat was real -- it's hilarious how much my weight vacillates. The only bad thing is I worry how this will impact future WW weigh-ins when I reach lifetime. From what I understand, you have a two-pounds either way allowance, but the way my body likes to retain water that could get a bit frustrating.
On the Lexapro front, I'm noticing some real differences. I actually felt like getting off my duff after I finished my lunch yesterday to take a walk, so I did! This may sound minor, but honestly it was huge. I've not felt like deliberately moving in a dog's age, due to a combination of injuries (my right knee and ankle loathe me) and the depression. Yesterday, none of that was an issue so I walked for half an hour... with no ill effects today, either. Hooray!
Also, my anxiety seems to be ratcheting down quite a bit. We're doing some budgetary overhauling at the office, and rather than freak out over reading about direct and indirect expenses and so forth, I just sat down and read the material. What floored me is that I actually understand it. Now granted, I've taken accounting and I'm the only person at the office who understands our billing software and so forth, but I guess I've absorbed more than I thought. I know, again it seems minor, but I've apparently been dealing with a lot of imposter syndrome regarding my ability to do my job. It appears I'm actually competent, though. I guess the fact that I'm still employed should have served as a big sign that I'm not a wreck, but I'm occasionally a bit slow on the uptake :P
Lastly, I also had the realization that I'm a pretty strong person. It sounds self-aggrandizing to say it, but I'm going to go with it. I saw my ex-husband was abusive, and I left. I saw the way I was brought up was rather messed up, and I chose a different route for myself and my children. I'm not just taking the path of least resistance... I've seen places where a change is needed, and I've made it. My therapist had pointed this out to me, but I just shrugged and said "Well, that's what you do."
Apparently it's not. Apparently it's just what I did, and the people who manage to pull themselves out of a lifetime of toxicity are few and far between. I'm grateful I'm one of them. I'm also grateful I had the good sense to seek medical help for my depression, because I think this is the best decision I've made in a long, long time.
Happy 4th, y'all :)
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