Day 23 Lexapro

I've got an appointment with my doctor tomorrow to discuss how the Lexapro is going.  I have to say that overall I'm happy with it.  Yes, I gripe about the insomnia and reflux (and they are totally worth whining over because UGH), and I will definitely mention that to her.  That said, the benefits, to me, far outweigh the drawbacks.

I'm dwelling less on things I cannot change.  I can actually "let go" of issues that bother me... at least for a while, and when I realize I'm starting to go overboard I can put it away. 

I've actually felt like moving again, which is kind of amazing.  I've not felt like doing... well, much of anything outside of the absolute basics which would include hygiene, makeup/ hair (I did these while in labor with both kids, and frankly nothing short of a natural disaster stops my vanity practices), go to work, come home, lather, rinse, repeat.  But now I'm feeling like walking again, so I'm walking half an hour at lunch.  I feel like cooking again (I know!!!!  Yes, this is hugely helpful for weight management), so I'm going to pick up dinner at the grocery store tonight. I have even felt the urge to do more work on the house, which is huge... and which I'm sure my husband and kids will appreciate.  It will also make me feel better, because I'd really like to feel up to having company over, and my house being in better shape would go a long way toward making that happen.

Another big thing I've noticed is that I'm not feeling the urge to comfort eat myself into a coma anymore.  Sure, I can make poor food choices, but that drive to just eat, eat, eat, until I feel even marginally better is gone.  I can once more have one donut hole, one cookie, one piece of cake... and at the moment, since I just ate breakfast and am very much not hungry, I would actively turn any of those items down.  This.  Is.  Huge.  This is something that's been making me feel crazy for around two years.  I remember actually looking at my poor husband and saying "I don't understand why I can't just stop!!!!!"  I mean, I know how to lose weight.  I've educated myself.  I understand making food choices that will meet my needs from both a nutrient and caloric standpoint.  And that part of me was absolutely flabbergasted that I literally felt that out of control.

Again, call me weak if you want.  Say I should have just "sucked it up".  You do you, boo.  I tried "sucking it up" and it would work for awhile until it didn't and I'd once more spiral down.  Some pulls are stronger than simple desire, and the well of depression has a gravitational force... which is a bit hard to fight, at times, without an assist.

So yes, I think the Lexapro is a win, in so very many ways.  I'm honestly thrilled, even when I include the side effects.

Have a good one, y'all :)