Yeah, yeah, it's been over a month.
I've put weight back on. It's hard to say exactly how much because the scale is waffling between 174 and 176, but I'll take the 174, thankyouverymuch. Definitely not awesome, considering my last weight was 167.2, but at least I didn't go above 180 again.
Do I love it? No. Can I live with it? Sure; beats the alternative.
So, in order to fix this situation I've started tracking again. I'm working not to obsess. I'm dragging lots of fruits and vegetables home with me from the grocery store, and then to work, to ensure I have reasonable snack options should I choose to partake.
I'm also working to keep my protein intake around 100 grams per day, which is not the easiest thing to manage when counting points/ calories, but I think I've got it in gear.
Another thing my husband and I have done to decrease our caloric intake is to nix our socializing (which often involves adult caloric beverages) down to once or twice per week.
It's working. My face is looking a bit leaner. Now I have to work on getting to the gym.
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Outside of the weight stuff, I'm doing pretty well all things considered. I've actually started cooking again, which is HUGE. I'd been so anti-kitchen for so long -- nearly a year -- and it's good to feel like getting back on track with having my food fixed over the weekend so I can go ahead and pack it up for lunches during the week.
I'm also doing better with the housework stuff. I'm prone to stacking things up rather than actually cleaning and culling, but I'm doing better and the house shows it. I wouldn't be tickled to have anyone over, but I also wouldn't be terribly embarrassed by it either -- just sort of a shrug and a "well, not up to company standards, but I'll live" type of situation.
Oh! And something I just realized last weekend when I went to pick up my older son from school: my anxiety while I'm driving is hugely ratcheted down. It's unbelievable. I was able to take the interstate the whole way to his school rather than freaking out about the vehicles that were daring to share the road with me. With my vertigo and lack of depth perception there's always some insecurity about just where everything is and how my body is affected by it, but I am much better able to put that on the side rather than have the full-blown flight instinct kicking in.
I can't begin to say how good that feels.
I'd love to quit the Lexapro. I'm tired of feeling dependent on a medication to be able to function. But I'd also hate to lose the functionality, so I think I'm going to be staying on it a bit longer. I have an appointment with my doctor in a couple of weeks, so I'll touch base with her then.
I'll check in again on Saturday when I weigh in. Maybe. We'll see; I just want to take things as they come :)
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